Smells Like . . .

26 Sep

My sense of smell is so keen, I can smell trouble a mile away.

This allows me to do things like know when the milk in the fridge has soured, select the ripest cantaloupe at the grocery store, and help cops hunt down drug smugglers at airports.

I was the first to notice when my car began to emit an unsavory smell: the combined smells of fermented yeast and horse manure.  And that was on a good day.

When temperatures rose above 70 degrees the stench was so putrid I was forced to vaporize my minivan with Glade air freshener and drive with my head out the window.  It was either that or take up smoking.

I searched high and low for the odor.  Finally, in the glove box I sniffed out something criminal:  a stack of my husband’s parking tickets.  But the only offensive thing I could smell was an argument coming on.

I checked the bottom of my shoes, hoping to find dog poop.  No such luck.

Out of desperation I paid $300 to have my car detailed inside and out.  It came back looking and smelling like new—until the next day when the fresh scent of pine gave way to the stench of German sauerkraut.

I nosed out every square inch of the vehicle until I reached the back passenger seat, where the smell intensified.  I found a small plastic container under the seat, reached in and pulled it out.

Its odor was powerful enough to bend steel.

I peered through the lid and was able to make out the leftovers from my Legal Sea Foods meal 9 days earlier: a bed of spinach, three shrimp, and a blanket of white fuzz.

After I tossed the specimen into the nearest garbage can, I made a mental note to remember to bring in the dinner leftovers from now on.

The following week, just when I thought my odors were over, my minivan began to reek again.  I followed my nose to the back passenger section, where underneath the seat I located a 3-day-old container of spaghetti and meatballs.  I was pretty sure that wasn’t Parmesan cheese on top.

I was grateful my nose served me well, even if my memory didn’t.

Next time I eat out, there’s one thing I’ll be sure to remember:  to take my husband’s car.

Note:

I would like to take this opportunity to graciously accept the Versatile Blogger award, presented to me by the illustrious Paprika.  Check out her latest post on her blog, Good Humored, to learn more about this prestigious award. ;)

Now, it is my pleasure to pass the award along to other newly discovered bloggers. Here they are, in no particular order:

Lighten Up Weber

Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder

Candice and Co.

Shannon Colleary

Limit Reached

Blaugra

The Unvarnished Mom

Planet Mom

Sips of Jen and Tonic

Culdesacked

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26 Responses to “Smells Like . . .”

  1. Paprika Furstenburg September 26, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

    This proves you can’t have it all. You can either have a good sense of smell or a good memory – not both. Taking your husband’s car is an excellent idea. It also provides you with plausible deniability in the event that something gets left behind.

    Enjoy basking in the gloryof your Versatile Blogger Award :)

  2. Linda September 26, 2011 at 4:40 pm #

    You should of kept the putrid leftovers and sent them to the Center of Disease Control, you may have been on your way to curing something?!

  3. laura September 26, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    Eeeeeew about the fuzzy food stinking up your car! Funny though.

    I’m honored to accept the Verstatile Blogger Award! Thank you, ever so much. I will fulfill my duties with dignity …

  4. Audubon Ron September 26, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    Smells to me like you got your ride “momed”!

    Mom My Ride!!

  5. Candice September 26, 2011 at 6:22 pm #

    Thank you for the award and for stopping by my blog. You’ve got some good stuff here, minus the rotten leftovers. ;)

  6. Dawn@lightenup! September 26, 2011 at 7:08 pm #

    Things are pretty bad when you’re hoping for dog poop on the bottom of your shoe. ;)
    And THANK YOU for the bloggy award! You’re too sweet. I will try to get it posted at the bottom of a post in th next week or two.

  7. prachi jain September 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    Lisa, your sense of smell and your sense of humor are both strong. I would look at my shoe for dog poop too as last year I was in that predicament. What a help the nose was!!!

  8. sportsattitudes September 28, 2011 at 2:03 pm #

    Without fail, my wife and I manage to put something in the kitchen trash can which eventually starts to “go south” and initiate an odor in direct conflict with the smell balance necessary for survival in that room. Decomposition can be difficult to predict on some items, but we’re working on it one odor at a time. As for our cars, food and beverage are carefully monitored at all times. Too busy piloting and co-piloting around other cars to eat and drink anything anyway…

  9. Anna Lefler September 30, 2011 at 4:43 am #

    Thank you so much for this award! Wow! I truly appreciate that. (And I love your blog!)

    Hope all is well and thanks again!
    :-) Anna

  10. morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer September 30, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    Congrats on winning the Versatile Blogger Award! It’s aways special to meet to a famous celebrity!

    Good luck!

    Ronnie

  11. thoughtsappear October 3, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    The Legal Sea Foods leftovers sounded good…you know, before they started to reek.

  12. Sylver Blaque October 6, 2011 at 5:27 am #

    Now that you have a Paprika award, are you prepared for the Blog Emmy?? I have the perfect dress…don’t forget to invite me!

  13. Kate Taylor December 6, 2011 at 9:14 pm #

    Thanks!! Sorry I am just now seeing this!

    KT

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program « Sips of Jen and Tonic - October 19, 2011

    [...] recently, I was presented with a “Versatile Blogger” award from Lisa over at Main Street Musings. Her blog, which she describes as a reflection on life in [...]

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