I was wary when my friend Patty invited me to a trunk show called CAbi that she was hosting. In New Jersey a trunk show generally means a body bound and gagged in the back of an Oldsmobile. In this case, however, it meant a wine-infused suburban moms shopping spree in a friend’s Country French inspired living room.
Home trunk shows have become the Tupperware of women’s fashion, a hassle free way for women to purchase high-end jewelry, upscale clothing and custom handbags without the side effects of mall rage. Plus, it’s a good way for women to connect, socialize, and discover who’s had chest enhancement.
CAbi is a clothing line made exclusively for home party sales. CAbi clothes are designed not for teens, models or fashion plates, but for regular women who may not get dressed in business attire each day, but still want to look civilized when they do their “life” stuff, like walk the dog, shop for groceries, or go to CAbi parties.
I wanted to balance out my wardrobe. Like my stock of Tupperware, I had more bottoms than tops. My wardrobe consisted of jeans, Levi’s 101’s. That’s the style number. It’s also the number of pairs I own. Jeans are a staple to any wardrobe because they answer to any occasion. Unlike, say, the poncho, that’s limited to Mexican fiestas and the 1970’s.
“Terri,” our platinum blond trunk show consultant, stood 5’ 8” and weighed 98 pounds. This 38-year-old modern day peddler was not your grandparent’s bearded street merchant with a cart. She was Malibu Barbie’s mother, with a body that looked like she spent more time scaling Mt. Everest than selling an urban clothing line.
Seeing that she looked terrific in everything she modeled I wasn’t sure if I should feel inspired or depressed until I listened to her spiel and learned in 45 minutes from Terri the answers to questions I’d struggled with my entire life: How to make my bust one size bigger, how to shave 6 inches off my waist, and how to hide, as she called it, my “muffin top middle.”
Unlike department stores that use trick mirrors that flatter the body (the kind that make you look great in the dressing room, but that your bedroom mirror yells, “What the heck were you thinking?”) CAbi uses a trick wardrobe to accentuate a woman’s figure.
“Our wide waistbands help tuck in tummies!” Terri explained. She lifted her chic, “Boho Blouse” to reveal a wide waistband attached to the stylish, “Lacy Skirt” draped on the wire hanger that was her hipbones.
“Some of our blouses are designed with features that elongate the torso to make you look taller,” she said, modeling a tailored, button down cotton blouse that was shorter in the middle and longer on the sides. Terri did in fact look taller, if you’re into that funhouse mirror kind of look, but unless she was trying to conceal a two-gun holster, I viewed the look as a fashion disaster. The other ladies, however, seemed to love the blouse, and the concept.
Terri enlisted Patty to model the draped tank, a sleeveless top in a floral print. Magically, the chest enhancing front pleats caused her breasts to mushroom an entire cup size. “I’ll take one of each color!” Patty cried. Terri wasn’t just hawking clothes. She was selling a dream.
Patty’s friends and neighbors sipped more wine as they listened politely to Terri’s little nuggets of wisdom like, “As hem lines go up, so does the economy!” They “oohed’ and “aahed” over each selection. I overheard Nancy, a neighbor, say, “It’s all nice, but I really shouldn’t spend the money right now.”
By the time Terri finally let us loose to “attack the rack,” the ladies were as liquored up as gamblers at a Las Vegas casino. They grabbed at the merchandise. One woman yanked hard at a blouse, which bothered me, because I was wearing it. It felt like a Janet Jackson Super Bowl moment, only nobody cared.
At the end of the evening I glanced at Nancy’s order from. She had bought three dresses, two blouses and four pair of slacks. And Patty had earned over two hundred dollar’s worth of clothing by hosting (which explains why I’ve been invited to three CAbi parties in the last two months and haven’t been invited to a Christmas party in five years).
I’m glad that I attended the CAbi trunk show, because I bought something that I really liked: a new pair of jeans. I plan to wear them to my next occasion—a CAbi party. The one I’ll be hosting.
Awesome post!
Great post! I have a complete visual of the evening.
I have a Cabi coat that I bought several years ago – a long duster with a tapestry blue print over a robins egg blue background – it is equal parts Princess Diana and rock star. I feel fabulous when I wear it….which I do with jeans!
Thanks for starting my Monday off with a laugh!
Thanks! Your coat sounds wickedly cool!
I’ve never heard of this brand. Around here I’m invited to buy baskets [Longaberger] or more kitchen stuff [Pampered Chef] but never to be better dressed. Perhaps our priorities are out of whack!
It’s fun but it can be discouraging trying on things that look better on the rack. The good think about kitchen- ware parties is that oven mitts always fit.
lol on that one. So true.
I haven’t been to any kind of “home party” in years. I think the last one was Pampered Chef. I could use some of those wide waistbands. Maybe Cabi will catch on around here or maybe it already has and I haven’t been invited because my friends don’t want me to look good. hmmmm.
Or maybe they think you already look too good!
As long as I don’t look like a Yellow Cab in their stuff, I might buy something. But I have a feeling I’d be thinking, “That girl needs to eat a biscuit!!” I will have to look into these parties. Sounds like fun torture! Very funny.
If I host one, I’ll be sure to offer the CAbi rep. biscuits. With butter.
I have never heard of these parties – this coming from a Terri who is not so tiny. If they have “double Cabs,” I’m in. Sounds like any returns may be made due “wine-goggles” instead of mirror deceit.
That’s why I stick with jeans. They still look good the next day . . .
I haven’t heard of CAbi nor trunk shows, but I see now why they need to include liquor. Sounds like an introvert’s nightmare.
Online shopping might be better in that case!
This rings so true. I received a call from a fellow softball mom asking me when I wanted to host the jewelry party I’d apparently agreed to host. I can only imagine I agreed at some softball tournament when the parents and I were tail-gating in the parking lot and I obviously imbibed too much wine!
Maybe I need to check into hosting a Cabi party? The necklace I purchased certainly elongates my neck, but everyone is too busy staring at the rest of my naked body to notice! LOL
Ha! If you wear that same necklace and outfit and invite men to your CAbi party I bet you’ll have a great turnout!
This post is truly hysterical! Love the wine, women, and wild abandon! Plus, the clothes seem to have a bit of merit. I guess they have a lot of merit after all that wine!
Thanks! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I loved your alliteration!
I have never heard of home truck shows, so obviously I don’t get out much. I love jeans and I wear them almost every day. They go with every top I have and they’re comfy. How can you go wrong with another pair of jeans, really?
So true!
This post is a treat! I’ve never heard of CAbi parties, but they sound very much like makeup or jewelry parties of the same ilk. I love how you describe the whole thing — I was right there with you! — and peppered it with details (like how much Terri earned). Now you’ll have to follow up with a post telling us about YOUR party!
The parties can be fun to go to, but I think it’s more fun reliving it on paper!
Thanks for the kind feedback.
I believe we share the same philosophy when it comes to the women’s clothing industry and shopping. Malibu Barbie’s Mom – I love it.
My Nana used to sell something called BeeLine in the 1960s and 70s – it was home parties with clothing and she had her car outfitted like a wardrobe to haul it around. Groovy threads in Granny’s Impala -
What a great memory and story! And cool Nana!
The coolest.
Never been or heard of a CAbi show…but I live far from civilization. Sounds fun and glad you got a new pair of jeans
Home shopping is a pretty popular activity in my neck of the woods, as my jeans drawer can attest to!
So that’s why I got funny looks when I wore that poncho to my nan’s funeral
It might have been the pleated skirt you wore with it, Joe.
It was my Nan’s skirt – I thought it was in honour of her.
LOL! I’m sure she was touched. And probably so were you . . .
That sounds like a really fun time!!! My neck of the woods trunk shows meant exactly what you thought LOL!!! NOW IT”S SHOPPING WHOO HOO!!!
I will recommend this blog to my wife. Thank you. HF
Thanks, Harper, much appreciated.
I loved the top you described; do you do any double dealing or reselling goods you bought?
I wouldn’t double-deal my clothing, but if you’re interested I’ve got some oceanfront property in Arizona that might interest you . . .;)
OK, I laughed out loud at the New Jersey trunk show comment, and didn’t stop laughing until… well, I still haven’t. I’ll see your 101 pairs of jeans and raise you 103 pairs of sweatpants.
Ha! I’ll see your 103 pairs of sweatpants and raise you 101 dalmations!
The party sounds like fun. Lisa, the thought of finding clothes that camouflage my flaws is appealing. I’ve often thought I’d like to be on “What Not to Wear,” but I’m afraid they’d insist I’d have to ditch my Life is Good T-shirts.
Hilarious, Judy! You have to riff off that in a future post!
That’s a real compliment coming from you, Lisa. I’m still chuckliing over your line: “In New Jersey a trunk show generally means a body bound and gagged in the back of an Oldsmobile.” BUT, thanks for the suggestion on the blog idea.
Never heard of CAbi parties, but now I know. Enjoyed the post!
Thanks, Prachi!
LIsa – We just adore your post. Your honesty and wit definitely appeals to the modern woman! So glad you enjoyed attending Patty’s CAbi Show and we’re thrilled to hear you’ll be hosting one of your own. May we suggest you invite Sherry and her 103 sweatpants? We have a wonder fabric called Ponte that will give her the comfort of sweats with the look of tailored, chic outfit.
Thanks again for your honest review of your first CAbi show – we can’t wait to Tweet this out. And for anyone who is interested in learning more about CAbi, visit us at http://cabionline.com (we’ve just launched the Spring ’13 Collection!)
Cheers,
CAbi Online
The pleasure is mine!
Loved this story. I’ve done KikaPaprika, but not Cabi. Can I narrate for my podcast?
Great post. I was right there with you. How funny that of all the choices, you left with another pair of jeans. Just what you needed!
Thanks, Lori!
I’ve never heard of a CAbi party. If they had clothes that could made me look taller and thinner that would be a magic show, not a fashion show.
Ha! Good one!
Well, I never heard of these Cabi clothes. But you had me at “flattering” for the “middle aged.”
Fun post – I really felt like I was there with you!!
Lisa, I took you up on your challenge. Here is the link … and I linked back to your page. Thanks for the nudge. http://earth-rider.com/2013/02/23/youre-wearing-what/
I’ve become such a fashion sloth…I have no clue of the fashion trends for past decade or more. But sounds like fun for you…provided one can protect their budget.
One comment: I truly detest a lot of the women’s dress tops at this time: they are often wide, floaty styles which look awful on a small/slim person. So for your Cabi party, just make sure you stock up styles that don’t make midlife women look like tanker trucks/dowdy. Sorry, am brutal here. I’m beginning to believe that the reason why such fashions are popular are to mask some weight problems..
The wide cuts are awful on me. And don’t even get me started on the off-the-shoulder trend . . .
I have not heard of Cabi, but wish I was there. If the other ladies were daring no trick department store mirrors, so most surely would I.
Sounds like great fun. Alas, sitting over her in Australia!!
ooh, Australia! Some place I long to visit!
Such wonderful, self-deprecating humor-well done! When I first moved to Kiawah I was invited (aka suckered in) to a trunk show for “Worth” clothes. They were gorgeous and very expensive but beautiful, and I way over-spent because it was one-on-one with the sales person. 10 years later I am still wearing a few of the pieces, but I gave 2 pieces to Goodwill with tags still on them:-(. Needless to say, that was my last time at a Worth party!
Sounds like in hindsight it wasn’t “Worth” it.
Thanks for sharing.